Facebook Users May Overestimate Their Friends' Happiness

None of these people are having as much fun as you think.
From The Huffington Post.

Good news for jealous people who use Facebook:  The Times of India reports that most users overestimate the positive feelings that their friends post on their profiles. These results come from Stanford University, which surveyed students about their moods and what they thought their friends were feeling. When the researchers compared the friends' actual moods, they found that students underestimate their friends' negative feelings and overestimate the positive, which in turn made respondents unhappy because they felt less normal.

As lead researcher Alex Jordan says, "People think, 'Why am I alone on a Saturday night' or, 'Why I am not in a relationship?' When people overestimate the happiness of friends, they felt more negatively about their own lives." The study revealed that the misattribution of friends' feelings happened even between people who knew each other very well.

The more students underestimated the negative emotions of their friends, the more their feelings of loneliness increased--a trend that Catalina Toma of the University of Wisconsin says can be emotionally harmful to passive Facebook users. She writes, "People naturally compare themselves to those around them, a process known as social comparison. If you perceive yourself to be doing better than your friends in an area that is important for you the social comparison will make you feel good. However, if you think your friends surpass you in an area that's important to your self-concept, you will likely feel dejected as a result of the comparison."

You can read the actual study, "Misery Has More Company Than People Think: Underestimating the Prevalence of Others’ Negative Emotions," in the January 2011 issue of Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin (if you're willing to pay for it or you have a SAGE Journals Online account).

Casual Friday: Loneliness

From Wine Press of Words.

Today is Friday, a day when many people try to put away their stress and go out with friends, so it seems as good a time as any to discuss the importance of social interaction. I'll be using the excellent book loneliness:  Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection by John T. Cacioppo and William Patrick for most of my information, so read that if you want to look deeper.

Most of you probably realize that habitual social isolation affects health negatively, but you may not know to what extent. According to a study done by epidemiologist Lisa Berkman, people with few social ties are two to three times more likely to die of ischemic heart disease, circulatory disease, cancer, respiratory failure, gastrointestinal failure, and all other causes of death. This makes extreme loneliness just about as dangerous as obesity, lack of exercise, or smoke inhalation.

Many researchers were skeptical of such harsh results, but studies since then have supported them. One of the most extensive studies of loneliness was conducted by the authors (Cacioppo and Patrick) themselves. At Ohio State University, they gave volunteer test subjects a battery of tests, including not only daily surveys of their subjective wellbeing, but also objective physiological measurements like blood tests, salivary gland tests, and even sleep tests. The results show that lonely people (especially older people) experience chronic stress at a 25% higher rate, and this stress compounds over a lifetime. On brain scans they are even less happy than normal when they DO finally experience social connection.

Okay, so now that (I hope) I've convinced you that loneliness is a serious health problem, what counts as loneliness? The authors define it as a lack of meaningful social interaction. The interaction has to be meaningful because people standing in a crowded mall can be just as lonely as someone alone in a basement, if not more so. If you feel better with a small group of friends than a large one, that's okay. It's the quality of the interaction that counts, not the quantity.

As for how to get out of a lonely slump, that's a difficult question. You might start by looking for people with similar interests as you. I recommend the website Meetup, which allows you to find groups and clubs in your area, then meet them in person. The important thing is to keep trying, even if it doesn't seem to go well at first (loneliness can amplify negative feelings of yourself, even when you have no cause for concern).

This post is already rather long, so might as well go read the book at this point. Just remember that everyone goes through these feelings at some point, so even if you're lonely, you're not alone.